Your task

From the labyrinths of the German Embassy
I step out into the fog of Berlin at night.
In November things seem even less clear
and wherever I go I leave notes and papers
trenched in cortisol, thrown away onto a mountain of
lies of sustainability and peace and fairness.
I have held presentations on annual reports
and external communication strategies for student services,
learnt by heart the structure of German Railways,
read reports of Association x,y, z,
written a press release and a speech for the Federal Agency for Technical Relief,
shown my willingness to do my third traineeship after 5 internships,
shortened the touching letter of a mentally ill woman adressed to the health minister
written a technical text on how to use a sales app whose inventor I have never heard or seen,
invested hours into it at night after my other job just to learn that I will never see any remuneration,
laughed about the bureaucrat at my office who refuses to share the toilet key with me,
given German classes for free to Albanian refugees who will probably been sent away,
but the answer I get in my seventh job interview after 40 applications is:
"As I can see you studied for a really long time. How do I know if you learned sth. in your traineeship, how do I know you wrote those texts yourself for the newspaper and the magazines? Let me tell you: Don't expect more than 30 000 € per year, actually we have to invest a lot of time and energy in you by having to make you a good editor. This post is, as we wrote for a YOUNG EDITOR!! So I suggest you to write me a piece on this 13 page long interview until next week and I will guarantee you to give you my professional comments on it."
The lady who is a partner at one of the best architecture offices in town is chewing heavily on her chewing gum. While I am supposed to talk about "MYSELF", she starts yawning and removing fluffs from her light blue silk blouse. She has seen more interesting things than that desperate job-seeking girl who thought about her outfit for two days but is soft like a foul apricot, the girl with the good university grades but the naiveness of a zebra, which has already been spotted by the lion. We are sitting in one of the supposedly most sustainable office buildings in the world, but I can only see a concrete cage with fake windows.
From the labyrinths of a castle from the Middle [Modern] Ages
I step out into the rain of Stuttgart
and I realize: violence does not need war,
but like a little wonder I, the zebra don't lose my stripes.
They are still there when I ring the bell at Miss H's house.
The elderly lady offers me cake from the countryside and Assam tea, while her two cats jump on my lap. We compare our time tables to help the refugees together and in between she says:
"Your task right now is to take care of yourself."


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