carnivalesque

Earlier, I happened to explore.
Even if I resisted, things and people would just happen to me and some time later I would be thankful for these happenings.
Now, I want to explore but since nothing and anyone pushes me, I just watch the glass ceiling and I don't see much more than an everyday sky.
Shit, there is not even the need to break the glass ceiling.

I wish I could feel some kind of resistance.

Are the role plays over or is there just no part for me in the carnival?