Raddison Blu

I have the feeling. I have the feeling that things won't come back to me anymore. I used to hear the laughter on the playing ground from far away, it was like rewinding the cassettes of my childhood and I was able to see my angry face in the French mountains, my exhaustion that would drive me forward. It was a kind of exhaustion that would protect me from the ultimate collapse.
I am not exhausted. I am neutral now and walking through with forced ease. When did I agree to go on and be pleased with my nightmares?